“Help

“Help! My Child won’t do the Work.” Suggestion and Ideas for Getting More Co-operation and Less Power Struggles.

Tired of engaging in power struggles with your children to get homework or homeschooling done? Try the following tips to turn on the fun and turn off the fights!

Give choices in subject matter, time, or place of study. Eg: Would the child like to do Math or English today? When is their best, most alert time of day? Would they like to study in their rooms, outside, or on the couch?

Alternate bookwork days with outing days. Consider helping the child learn in a different way with an outing or field trip.

Consider giving tests first and if the concepts are mastered, eliminate the text material. Cuts down on boredom and busywork.

Present the material in a fun way and geared to child’s learning style. Eg: Videos, cookie fractions, games such as multiplication tag. Children in elementary love to learn through play.

Follow interests as much as possible, if not in format, then in content. Eg: Child has to write essay so he could write about Pokemon if desired.

Use rewards if they work for your child. Eg: Stickers, Passes for fun outings. Have a jar of 200 dimes (one for each school day). Any day the child doesn’t whine about doing school work, put in one dime. Child can keep the money at the end of the year.

Avoid power struggles. Put your relationship building first. Try and approach learning another way. Listen to why your child doesn’t want to do the work.

For those hesitant writers, try being the scribe while the child dictates ideas. Or try letting them write on the computer which is easier on little hands. Remember that in school, children are taught to read and write early because most curriculum is delivered that way for mass distribution. At home, you have the time and resources to deliver the knowledge in other formats, so you can wait until the child is developmentally ready to use their fine motor skills.

For those hesitant readers, try picking up an enticing children’s book and reading out loud. Your child might come join you if it’s not forced. Model reading yourself. Cuddle on the couch with a child and make reading a fun, cozy, exciting time. Use vocal variety and stop when the child is not longer interested.

Keep a routine going when you figure out the best time of day for bookwork. This has to work for you and your child. Not all children are “morning people”. Be kind but firm in sticking to a routine. Children need some structure.

Have a written contract each week, month or year that is signed and agreed to by the parent and child, about what work must be completed for that time period.

Work with the child that is most interested in the topic (such as History or Science). Other siblings will join willingly if they are interested. If they are not, wait awhile. If the topic is forced, the retention of knowledge will be minimal. They may be more interested in a few months or years. Children often learn better by discover than be being told.

Some months are better then others. Children go through spurts and plateaus and most do not learn in tidy sequential steps. During a plateau, trust that the desire and motivation will come back.

Assimilation of material takes time. Plan for play time, down time and many breaks (minutes, days, weeks and even months).

Create a learning environment of fun, curiosity and good feelings. Make sure everyone is fed, rested, comfortable and non-stressed!

Never punish for not doing the work. You want to create a climate for lifelong learning and enjoyment of the pursuit of knowledge. Remember, your job is to facilitate learning. Nudge, but don’t force!

OTHER IDEAS I COULD TRY:

WE WILL TRY AGAIN, ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER WAY