Growth
spurts.
Extreme
differences in children of the same ages.
Preteen
girls tend to be more advanced than boys.
Bone
growth faster than muscle development.
Sexual
characteristics developing.
Fluctuations
in basal metabolism cause restlessness.
Preteens
may tire easily.
Ravenous
appetite, picky eaters or peculiar tastes.
Belt
of fat around waist.
Visual
acuity develops around 9
Intellectual
Milestones
Intensely
curious, and growing in mental ability
Concrete
operational thinking using reasoning rather than perception.
Thinking
still limited to concrete, tangible objects and familiar events.
Age
11 or 12: may be argumentative as they develop critical thinking skills and
gain formal operational thinking.
Eager
to solve real life problems.
Age
6 to 10: still need reminding, supervision and teaching to do chores.
Age
11 on: can do chores without reminding or supervision.
Know
difference between real and imaginary things.
Love
bathroom talk.
Have
developed better impulse control and delayed gratification.
Even-keeled
from ages 6-9. From 10 – 12, emotions
may be erratic.
Greater
anxiety, self-conscious about physical and sexual changes.
Sensitive
to criticism and correction.
Strong
need to belong to family and peer group
May
exaggerate and over-dramatize problems.
Increasingly
able to identify and label own feelings, and feelings in others.
Still
have fears: dogs, sharks, heights,
losing parents, loved ones, the dark.
Increasing
sense of right & wrong and societal rules.
Can
begin to use “self talk” to calm down.
Easily
upset by things not fair or right.
Developmental
Tasks
The
child’s job is to experiment, make mistakes, build skills, argue and question,
test and negotiate rules.
How
To Support Your 6 to 12 Year old Child.
BUILD
THE BOND!
Mutual
respect.
Encourage
physical activity.
Allow
space to be boisterous.
Mistakes
are for learning!
Avoid
intense competition or pressure.
Provide
health and nutrition education with choices.
Provide
sexual health education.
Don’t
over-react to fads in clothing and mannerisms.
Invite
input into rules and problem-solving.
Natural
consequences, logical consequences (3 R’s), and problem solving are best tools
for discipline.
Avoid
punishments: time-outs, grounding, unrelated consequences.
Walk
away from “attitude” and power struggles.
Connect,
then Direct.
Express
your limits.
Use
I messages.
Listen
with empathy.
Assist
them in finding solutions to their own problems.
Encourage
explorations of their ideas and values.
Encourage
self-expression and skill development.
Provide
daily down-time.
Encourage
friends at your home.
Let
them choose their own friends.
Protect
family time and activities from interruption
Respect
their privacy and possessions.
Have
one-on-one date days.
Give
the gift of new unpaid chores every birthday.
Use
appropriate touch.
You
can learn when and how to disagree.
You
can think before you say yes or no and learn from your mistakes.
You
can learn the rules that help you live with others.
You
can think for yourself and get help instead of staying in distress.
You
can trust your intuition to help you decide what to do.
You
can find a way of doing things that works for you.
I
love you even when we differ; I love growing with you.
RESOURCES
Parent Effectiveness Training, Dr. Thomas
Gordon (also classes, booktapes)
Positive Parenting, Jane Nelson
Kids Are Worth It, Barbara Colorosso
Self-Esteem is a Family Affair, Jean Illsley
Clarke
Your Six Year Old, Dr. Louise Bates Ames (Also,
Your 7,8,9,10,11,12 etc)
Speaking of Sex, Meg Hickling
Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Matter, Dr.
Gordon Neufeld
Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
Kids Are Worth It, Barbara Coloroso (video,
booktapes)
Active Parenting, Dr. Michael Popkin (classes)
Connections:
The Threads That Strengthen Families, Jean Isley Clarke
Punished By Rewards, Alfie Kohn
Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy
Kurchinka
Effective Discipline: A Healthy Approach,
Canadian Pediatric Society (Website)
Guidance for Effective Discipline, American
Academy of Pediatrics (Website)
Positive Time Out, Jane Nelson
Time-In, Jean Illsley Clarke
SiblingsWithout Rivalry, Adele Faber and Elaine
Mazlish (classes)
Kids, Parents and Power Struggles, Mary Sheedy
Kurchinka
Time-In Parenting, Dr. Otto Weininger
Loving Each One Best, Nancy Samalin
Teaching Children Self Discipline, Dr. Thomas
Gordon
Pick Up Your Socks, Elizabeth Crary
Your Child’s Self Esteem, Dorothy Corkille
Briggs
Self-Esteem, A Family Affair, Jean Illsley
Clarke
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to
Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.(classes)
Dealing with Disappointment, Elizabeth Crary